11.10.2016

i wish





i wish i could wrap up all i want to say to you in a letter
and put it in the mailbox to send your way.

because i stare at the stars as we drive down the highway
and your name is written in the dust they leave behind.
i lean my head against the seat and i can't get your fingerprints
out of the worn leather that tells of where we've been.

memories.
they are stuck bronze behind my eyelids.
i can't stop wishing you were here now.
i am grasping for the last threads of old skins,
and yet He is saying that it is time to let. them. go.

your name has never been this hard to say before.

the room has never been this small before.

"did you make a wish?" he asks from the back seat
after i told him i thought i saw a shooting star.
i shook my head.

the little girl in my soul is learning to
sit on her knees in the garden to water the plants.

the little girl in my soul is learning how to grieve loss.

x
and man. it stings.

17 comments:

  1. ♥♥♥♥ thank you for always making my heart ache in the best way possible, love.

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    Replies
    1. waaaa. thank you for coming to read, grace anne. x

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  2. I love your writing so much, Cally! <3

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    Replies
    1. still learning, but the encouragement is needed. thanks, bean. x

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  3. and man, it stings
    Aw Cally my heart <3 I love you and your beautiful words and the ability you have to make me feel so many emotions at once.

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    Replies
    1. crrryyyy. Elizabeth, your comments make my day. thank you for always caring. loves. x

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  4. ahhhh.your writing is so beautiful <3

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    Replies
    1. only by His grace. crying sweet girl. thank you. x

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  5. Replies
    1. thank goodness He heals. amirite sweet pea. CRY. <3

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  6. hmm mmhmmhmm hmm *clears throat, but can't find words to say that accurately describe the beauty that is your writing* hmm mhmmm hmm

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    Replies
    1. jordan sky u crack my smol soul up. thanks for always being there right when i need ya. x ♥

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  7. yes, yes, i know how it stings <3 but it can become beautiful. hold on for that.

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    Replies
    1. hmm.
      and i'm okay even if i never see this become beautiful,
      for I behold my Maker's face and it is more glorious than anything i have ever seen.
      scream. what.
      love YOU. you came back. i am happy. x

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  8. This is way too beautiful, perfect. And I'm learning to grieve too.

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