i wish

i wish i could wrap up all i want to say to you in a letter

and put it in the mailbox to send your way.

because i stare at the stars as we drive down the highway

and your name is written in the dust they leave behind.

i lean my head against the seat and i can't get your fingerprints

out of the worn leather that tells of where we've been.

memories.

they are stuck bronze behind my eyelids.

i can't stop wishing you were here now.

i am grasping for the last threads of old skins,

and yet He is saying that it is time to let. them. go.

your name has never been this hard to say before.

the room has never been this small before.

"did you make a wish?" he asks from the back seat

after i told him i thought i saw a shooting star.

i shook my head.

the little girl in my soul is learning to

sit on her knees in the garden to water the plants.

the little girl in my soul is learning how to grieve loss.

x

and man. it stings.