3.03.2016

letters to you



Dear stars,

I am sorry. I get busy. I hope you know that. I hope you do.

Because I remember the nights when I'd stare up at the sky in wonder with letters written, emails replied, homework done. When I got things done on time. We were dear friends, you know. Staying up late talking about nothing in particular and sometimes silently listening to the sighs of golden dreams.

I didn't forget you. I hope you know that. Some days you sink softly into my heart and the moon shines silver and I remember peace.

Our Lord has created peace and he has created you. We know the silence and we know love. Learn to live gently and let His light shine.



Dear earth,

you have been broken and scattered. You have been beaten and you have been worn like leather and bore the anger of my unskilled hands. But we are the same, you and I. Creations of Someone Better. He plows and sows and uproots. We have borne sorrow and we have let Him do his work.

I don't hate you. I hope you know that. I get tired and I lose things I wanted to keep.

I am still young and the dirt is fresh. I do dumb things and forget who I am. But through all of that, Grace grows. Love grows. The seeds He has planted are growing into something good. There is hope even when wildfire comes and burns the forest down.

You have taught me so much. I hope you know that. I have seen so many things and heard so many words, but yours were the ones that stayed.

What words but God's last forever? They are planted deep down in the dirt and nothing can take them away. You have taught me. Oh, how you have.



Dear fifteen,

The time has come for us to go our separate ways. You with the old and I with the bursting present. I can't say I will miss you, but I will always remember you.

Together we bore one of the hardest weeks of our life. We sobbed our heart out and bitterness took root and tried to stay. But we learned forgiveness and we learned to let go. Those are hard things to learn, you know. You think you have them until something comes and your ribs break and you're left on the ground, barely able to breathe.

I forgot your name. I hope you didn't know that. What a mess we were, unable to hold solid things in our hands.

You laughed really hard and taught me surrender. Surrender takes time and we have nothing to give and everything to take. Surrender bitterness and let kindness go. I forgot that every day, but there you were, blabbing it out all around. I did get mad at you, but only because Truth hurts. But Truth sets us free and I am afraid of surrendering all I am and being so free.

I am not lost. I hope you know that. I know where I am headed, though I do not know the way. Home.

We seek it.



Dear future,

I am sick of everyone fearing what you hold. I am sick of even myself being afraid. Because you are so big and full of hope! We have no right to only see the darkness. You are stereotyped and graffiti-ed. Held up to standards and sucked dry of all life that you held.

I am sorry. I am sorry. I didn't mean to do the same. I hope you know that.

so dear future, I am letting you go. I am letting my ideas of what you should be go. Because the King over everything holds you and knows all. He knows what to do with you and he knows how to take care of you.

The things He tells me about you blow my mind. I am left gasping for air and laughter-tears streaming down my face. I am left with anticipation and love and trust. Because, darling, you have to be the best thing in store if God has you.

I am excited. I know you know that. We're almost there.

Running races and letting our souls be torn and mended and cleaning out the dirt. Having bad days and getting through them. Learning and crying and giving it up and healing.

Almost there.

to new things. 
just turned sixteen on the second of march. 
xx


30 comments:

  1. baeeeeee.

    your creativity is like what even. <3

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  2. *screams for three days because of how deeply hurting + healing this is to me*
    you are fire I needed this reminder so bad
    happy birthday lovely xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

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    1. *dies laughing* god is so good to us, livvy girl.
      thank you forever. ♥

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  3. aakdasdkKasjakl this broke something in me. especially the one to your future, because this?? "Running races and letting our souls be torn and mended and cleaning out the dirt"

    i needed to hear that. that when our souls are torn, they will be mended again. that it's okay to get splattered with the dirt of life, and it's okay to take time to clean it out again. so thank you for this <3<3

    and i hope you had an incredible, beautiful birthday wildflower. i adore you and your words xxx

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    1. screams because yes. we need it, we need it. he is the Master healer and we are being mended and scars are only ghosts. it's okay, it's okay.

      i love you and my birthday was amazingly good. ♥ love sent to you, honey.

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  4. Oh my gosh, Cally, your words never fail to amaze me. Like, you actually took something simple and raw and decided to focus your writing attention on that, and simplistic posts that are honest and raw are some of the posts that I will have the longest comments on.

    OH MY GOODNESS YOU WROTE ABOUT THE STARS YAY. I thought I was the only one who looked up to the skies-- funny, though, I see the stars mainly in the morning while my mother drives me to school, and they're the most wonderful things to see. Combine the fading light of the stars and the soft magenta hue of the sun rising from the mountain, and you've got a front seat view of His creation. It's one of the things that get me through my mornings, which have lately been all grumpy and yucky, clouded with so much negativity.

    AND THE FUTURE. With each passing day grows my uncertainty of what I am supposed to be doing with my life, and you captured that fear perfectly-- but also show light on the hope and good that it brings. Literally, the image of a sunlight seeping through the window shades and illuminating onto something beautiful, and when I say beautiful, I'm not saying it like the generic overused way it is said in modern society-- I truly mean it.

    Well, I went on rambling / fangirling for too long. Happy birthday, m'dear. May this year be filled with more memories that are worth scrapbooking for.

    xoxo Morning

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    1. MORNINGGGGGGGGGGG. my girl, my girl. we have found the Light and we will know His voice when he calls. i'm screaming because you are good and i know truth when i hear it. RAMBLE AND FANGIRL WHENEVER YOU WANT. because it makes my heart incredibly happy. here's to growth. <3 thank you. x

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  5. i have no idea how you come up with such stuff, but oh man. they're so good and true and real and gah<3 everything perfect basically.

    ++happy birthday sweetheart! i'm sure your sixteen will be a whole lot of fun<<3

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    1. i think it's a God thing, peaches. i don't even know. squeee. <3 sixteen is running at me full on but it's good.

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  6. Happy birthday sweet Cally!<3 This is simply amazing!

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    1. thank you, dear Clara! my heart is full of love. ♥

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  7. Caalllllllllyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy

    You're much too cool.

    Hang in there. Make 16 great.

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    1. Becccccccccccccccca. you are sweet. 16 will be rockin'.

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  8. ...... WOW THERE! Amazing. My favorite one is about the stars, so accurate.

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    1. HAHA. thank youUUU. oh goodness. there we go again. <3

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  9. YAYYYYYY CALLY HAPPY BIRTHDAY DEAR <3
    also, like your creativity is so cool. like i would never have thought of something as creative and amazing as this :) i loved reading your letters, they're so truthful and deep and moving. LETTERS. Cally, see, this is how AWESOME you are. you take the smallest things and make them so moving. Yup. <3

    have fun being 16....you'll make it awesome ♥

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    1. THANK YOU I'M WORKIN' IT.
      i'm screaming because that is what i need. letters are what my hands know best, autumn girl. they know ink and rust and the smell of traveling. <3

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  10. Okay, wow this is SO deep. I cannot believe how amazing it is that you wrote to abstract ideas in such a personal idea. Thank you for this, I think this is one of my favorite things by you!
    happy birthday, darlin!

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    1. ohmygoodness. crying forever. ♥ thank youU!

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  11. Happy late birthday! I love this post so much...It gets me thinking! :)

    Allie D.
    www.alliesblogdesigns.blogspot.com
    www.friendlovesatalltimes.blogspot.com
    www.sincerelyallied.blogspot.com
    www.spreadingmyjoy.blogspot.com

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  12. happy birthday little ladybug!! man o man look how much you've grown!! cally cally cally look at her oh my they'll say oh my oh my oh my she's just so peachy and i don't know just holy guacamole!!!! (i love you to the moon and all the stars and around the sun and back again!)

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    1. thank you little pea. ♥ man oh man. you precious girl. (i love you to the stars and they hold it and spread it like stardust, hun.)

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  13. WOW. Usually I have like lots of things to say but right now nOPE I CANNOT CANNOT EVER. "I am still young and the dirt is fresh. I do dumb things and forget who I am. But through all of that, Grace grows. Love grows." < this smashed my soul like a beautiful bomb of perfection. omg.

    just wow. i also can't believe ur only 16 like waaaat how are u such a SAGE??? idk idk let's roll with it. ♥ hope your b-day was the best thing since waffles my dear. ^.^

    AND THANK YOU FOR THIS.
    love,
    abbiee

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    1. WSIOPEJFSPMKALALS. WAWEJAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA. dying for like three days. also screaming. you are the best. HAHA. it was wonderful, thank YOUUUUUUU.

      eaow <333333

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  14. Lovely photography!! <3 And happy birthday -- I hope it was great! :D

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