6.11.2015

gone




I see the mountains fly by, and the window is rolled down. I let my hand fly with the wind, leaving a trace of me behind. Perhaps that I may find my way back or that you could follow.

Too soon, the window was rolled up, cutting off any trails.

No, please don't let me leave. I don't want to go. 

But the tires are already on the road. I am already flying ahead of you at fifty miles per hour. And I don't want to go. Because that is home. I found home, but then I had to leave.

Please no. Let me stay.

My heart screams out, and my hand wants to reach for yours. Don't cry, I tell myself, or you'll never stop. But a tear escapes my eye.

The mountains fly by and the sun shines. Too fast, too fast, too fast.

I can't stay home. Not for long.

But I want to stay forever. I want to give you deep hugs, sing my lungs out, and pray to God. I want to talk about dumb things with you and ask you how your day was. I want to see your eyes twinkle. I want to feel your body heat.

i can't i can't i can't

i have to go.

Please, don't forget me. 

The earth sings its goodbye tune. I try not to listen. It's too hard. I'll break.

"Don't cry, it makes me sad." 

I can't help but laugh and let loose a few tears. I'm already sad deep down in my soul. I hate saying goodbye. It hurts.

I look over to my riding-partner and we smile sadly at each other. We're leaving you, I know it. We both know it. And it hurts us more than we can say.

"I left my heart back there...

by the fire to warm up." 

And we laugh, because we left more than our heart. We left our home. We left you.

But we'll be back soon.

Someday.



34 comments:

  1. I have a feeling that this is about camp, isn't it? I feel this way with theatre every time; after practically living with them for two and a half months and pouring out your life stories to these folk, it hurts to go.

    xoxo Morning

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    Replies
    1. Oh man yes. It is about camp. IT HURTS SO MUCH, MAN. I is dead. <3

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    2. DON'T DIE CALLY!!! :((((

      xoxo Morning

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    3. I DON'T THINK I CAN BREATHE, YOU PRECIOUS GIRL YOU.

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  2. have never been to camp, but the amount of love and friendship and raw life in this post and others make me wish i had.

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    Replies
    1. ohmanohmanohman. you should. this summer camp is like... all that I live for. God + best friends + campfires + nature = life. i can't explain. you have you be there. it is beyond words.

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  3. The photos are beautiful! <3

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  4. i cannot.

    literally.

    if i tried to can i would break something and i've already broken my heart so too bad. ♥

    xoxo

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    Replies
    1. i heard your heart sing, "love, love, love."

      (avalanche city is just telling me what i am doing. XD)

      don't forget to heal, my addy girl.

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    2. Ecclesiastes 3:7

      7 a time to tear and a time to mend,
      a time to be silent and a time to speak

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    3. Ecclesiastes 3

      A Time for Everything
      3 There is a time for everything,
      and a season for every activity under the heavens:
      2 a time to be born and a time to die,
      a time to plant and a time to uproot,
      3 a time to kill and a time to heal,
      a time to tear down and a time to build,
      4 a time to weep and a time to laugh,
      a time to mourn and a time to dance,
      5 a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
      a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing,
      6 a time to search and a time to give up,
      a time to keep and a time to throw away,
      7 a time to tear and a time to mend,
      a time to be silent and a time to speak,
      8 a time to love and a time to hate,
      a time for war and a time for peace.
      9 What do workers gain from their toil? 10 I have seen the burden God has laid on the human race. 11 He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the human heart; yet[a] no one can fathom what God has done from beginning to end. 12 I know that there is nothing better for people than to be happy and to do good while they live. 13 That each of them may eat and drink, and find satisfaction in all their toil—this is the gift of God. 14 I know that everything God does will endure forever; nothing can be added to it and nothing taken from it. God does it so that people will fear him.

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    4. That is such a perfect addition. Thank you thankyouthankyou.

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  5. TEARS.

    OW.

    RIGHT IN THE FEELS MAN.

    This is so good. Agh. Cally. *all the hugs*

    See you soon, though, kiddo.

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    Replies
    1. YOU NEED TO MAKE ROOM FOR MORE TEARS SO LET EM OUT OUT OUT <3

      Too many camp feelsies.

      But not soon enough. <3

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  6. doctor: so what's the problem this time Arielle?
    Me: My heart hurts so much and I haven't even gone to camp
    doctor: and why is that?
    me: BECAUSE I HAVEN'T GONE TO CAMP DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND
    doctor: silence
    me: *THE FEELS*

    (yeah that is starting to happen with me and my imaginary doctor every time i hear about camp,don't worry though i like reading about camp and the feels are getting contagious, pretty hard to avoid now days:)

    XD

    i am clearly going insane in part of my brain....

    i think i have read to many book

    wait for it ...... ONE CAN NEVER READ TO MANY BOOKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    um yeah thats my life

    xxArielle

    :)

    theselcouthgirl.blogspot.com

    thanks for reading all my crazy thoughts

    p.s. THIS POST IS A-M-A-Z-I-N-G THESE WORDS ARE A-M-A-Z-I-N-G YOU ARE A-M-A-Z-I-N-G

    no doubt about it the Arielle doesn't lie

    XD :D :)

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    Replies
    1. i is cries. i love this comment.

      CAMP IS SO GOOD YOU MUST COME.

      .... it's also very feelsy but that's alright. because it is a good feels. like cry-your-eyes-out feels and laugh-until-you-cry feels. so many tears are shed. XD

      that's right. no such thing as reading too many books. :-D

      thank youuuuuuu. <3

      p.s. your comment made me laugh.

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    2. tell me where is this magical camp you speak of (told you so many books I have read)

      :)

      ~Me

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    3. It's in little ol' Colorado. Adelaide Thompson's parents run it. :-D And it is the most magical camp evah. <3

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    4. MOTHER GET ME ON THE FASTEST PLANE TO COLORADO THIS VERY SECOND!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HURRY HURRY HURRY THERE ISN'T MUCH TIME LEFT AND IF WE AREN'T QUICK THE FEELS WILL SOON TAKE OVER MY SOUL I MUST MEET THESE WONDERFUL PEOPLE CALLY AND ADELAIDE OH PLEASE MOTHER PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE WITH A CHERRY ON TOP AND I SHALL NEVER BE BAD AGAIN IN MY LIFE AND I WILL DO WHATEVER BUT I MUST CATCH THAT PLANE TO COLORADO MY LIFE DEPENDS ON IT * me yelling til my lungs hurt* MOTHER I BEG YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! * puppy eyes and tears rolling down cheeks* MOTHER OH PLEASE IF ONLY YOU LET ME GO TO CAMP OH PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

      LOVE,
      ARIELLE
      WHO WILL DIE WITH THE FEELS BECAUSE.............................. *died*

      (oh no not a g a i n)

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    5. gravestone :

      here lies the body of Arielle Meier
      a poor maiden who was taken over by the feels
      and only had a few dreams in life; to go to Colorado and meet cally and Adelaide and go to camp and be a writer and own a Polaroid and record player and typewriter and travel the word and have an old car and have a soul on fire for the lord and go to HEAVEN AND INSPIRE PEOPLE AND SEW BETTER AND PLAY THE UKULELE AND (just noticed i had cap lock on) and meet all the blogger people i have wanted to meet..........

      and this is the story of the poor old girl that never really grew up but died of................

      the end

      love,
      a.m.

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    6. I meant Lord not lord if we are being technical here

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    7. THAT IS SO PERFECT I AM DYING. YOU'LL MAKE IT TO CAMP SOMEDAY, ARIELLE. HAHAHA. <3

      RIP Arielle
      She was a lovely girl
      who made the whole earth
      shake with laughter
      <3

      So funny. Thank you for that. Oh man.

      Delete
  7. woah that was really long commet

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  8. Callllyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy stopppppppppppppppppp

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  9. CALLLLLLYYYYY
    why u do dis
    my heart </3

    this was perfect writing, and i felt this post was about me the entire time, but that's what great writers do. they make YOU part of their story. cally, you go girl!! xxx.

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    Replies
    1. y do i do dis. i is cry. <3

      thank youuuu. your comments make my day! i am so so happy and excited when you comment. perfect.

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  10. This. is. so. darling.
    I. can't. even.

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  11. Dear Cally,

    Oh my goodness. This post is so beautiful, so sad, so heartbreaking. I hope you know how PERFECTLY you have put this feeling/s into words. It's amazing. You're amazing. Also, these pictures are fabulously gorgeous. I love the stormy, restless vibe. Keep writing, fighting, being who you are. :)

    love,
    abbie

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    Replies
    1. HAHA. Thank you, thank you. You are the best. <3 Your comment brightened my day. I actually thought this post was kinda cheesy and whatnot. But it twasn't. So shmank you. <3

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  12. WHAT EVEN.

    I love you. I said it before, I'll say it a hundred times. *hugs you forevah*

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    Replies
    1. RIGHT.

      I'll count. Just kidding. XDDD And I love you soooo much. I can't even word. I just. I'LL EMAIL YOU AFTER I'M DONE REPLYING TO COMMENTS. *hugs you 6evah*

      Delete

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