He was there


oh, there was doubt and hate in me
they were eating me up from the inside out
and i knew it, too
but how do you protect you from

how do you stop these monsters
that, yes, you created?
because it's harder than i would ever thought
they know my weaknesses and i forgot theirs

how do you save yourself from something that

you can't.

but you try and try again
and you fail, and fail, and


and you scream out to the sky
and then you start to cry
because you can't win a battle against yourself

but you keep trying.
i can do this
i can beat it

did you forget, dear,
that you cannot save anyone?
not even yourself.

somewhere along the lines your eyes
oh, they fixed themselves upon your hands
what you were doing and what you are

but then you forgot all that you learned
you forgot the most important thing


and then, broken and bruised and weary
worn out from fighting against yourself
you looked up and saw His hand waiting for yours
as it had been all along

every time you messed up, He was there
every time you fell, He was there
every time you won, He was there
every time, He. was. there.

and oh, my pour soul, how did you forget that?

how on earth did you forget that?

somehow you did.

If I say, "Surely the darkness will hide me and the light become night around me," even the darkness will not be dark to You; the night will shine like the day, for darkness is as light to You. Psalm 139: 11-12

you cannot save yourself, but He can.
you cannot beat this war against yourself, but through Him you can.
you cannot do anything alone, but with Him, who can ever stop you?

so darling, take His hand.
there's much more to life than this.


p.s. mah bestie just started a blog. check it out here 


  1. This is amazing, Candence! Something I really needed to hear. <3

  2. Beauty is right here in this post. <3

    xoxo Morning

    1. Wagh. I personally didn't think it was that good...but thank you nonetheless, Morning. :-)

  3. Hannah and I were talking about this very thing last night. He. Was. There. He is there. Praise God.

    1. Also, thanks for the shout-out. :-)

    2. Yessss. Either it'll be the most terrifying thing you ever heard... or most encouraging. Depends on how your relationship is with God, ya know? I just really love reading over Psalm 139. Super good.

      And yes, darling. People need to see your wonderfulness! ;-D

  4. Yeah. What Jess said. This is exactly what I needed to hear. <3

    1. I'm glad you needed it, Hannah. I was considering not posting it. XD But I am so, so glad that I didn't. <3

  5. This is so beautiful and wonderful and amazing oh my gosh I love this <3

    1. Oh, Elizabeth. Man. Thank you. <3 <3 <3 It means so much because I was like, "this is awful but I'll post it anyway" and you love it? Like. Oh man. Thank you sososo much. *all the love*

  6. This isn't even close to awful. This isn't even close to "okay". This is perfect, and beautiful, and I love it is much.

    1. CAN YOU SEE WHAT YOU ARE DOING TO MY HEART??????? OH MAN. *dies* You are so precious, Lauren. Thank you times a million. *hugs you to death*

  7. and you scream out to the sky
    and then you start to cry
    "because you can't win a battle against yourself"

    My favorite part. But this whole poem? Love it.


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