He was there

oh, there was doubt and hate in me
they were eating me up from the inside out
and i knew it, too
but how do you protect you from
yourself?

how do you stop these monsters
that, yes, you created?
because it's harder than i would ever thought
they know my weaknesses and i forgot theirs

how do you save yourself from something that
you
created?

you can't.

but you try and try again
and you fail, and fail, and

fail.

and you scream out to the sky
and then you start to cry
because you can't win a battle against yourself

but you keep trying.
i can do this
i can beat it

did you forget, dear,
that you cannot save anyone?
not even yourself.

somewhere along the lines your eyes
oh, they fixed themselves upon your hands
what you were doing and what you are

but then you forgot all that you learned
you forgot the most important thing

Jesus.

and then, broken and bruised and weary
worn out from fighting against yourself
you looked up and saw His hand waiting for yours
as it had been all along

every time you messed up, He was there
every time you fell, He was there
every time you won, He was there
every time, He. was. there.

and oh, my pour soul, how did you forget that?

how on earth did you forget that?

somehow you did.

If I say, "Surely the darkness will hide me and the light become night around me," even the darkness will not be dark to You; the night will shine like the day, for darkness is as light to You. Psalm 139: 11-12


you cannot save yourself, but He can.
you cannot beat this war against yourself, but through Him you can.
you cannot do anything alone, but with Him, who can ever stop you?

so darling, take His hand.
there's much more to life than this.

--

p.s. mah bestie just started a blog. check it out here