consuming fears

What do you do when you wake up in the middle of night,

frozen in fear?

What do you do when everything looks evil in the darkness?

When you're too afraid to move?

Tears I didn't know I was crying,

they find their way down my cheek and into my hair.

And the awful nightmare

it replays itself over and over in my mind.

"Please, help me, God,"

I whisper. 

"Don't let these fears overtake me."

I wish for a hand to hold or for someone to hug,

but I cannot move.

The darkness outside the window adds to my fear.

You are alone.

I hear everything around me screaming it.

You are ignored and unloved. No one can save you now. There is no one who cares for you nor anyone who will ever love you again. Everyone you love? They don't love you. They are going to die and you can't do anything about it. You. Are. Worthless.

Sleep is calling me,

but I do not want it. 

I do not want the nightmares haunting my sleep, 

refusing to let me go. 

"Hold me, God."

It's the only thing I can say. 

"Don't ever let me go."

In the light of day,

those fears seem so silly. 

But, at night when you're alone,

you cannot pretend to be brave. 

Psalm 38:10

My heart pounds, my strength fails me;

even the light has gone from my eyes. 

Psalm 38:21-22

O Lord, do not forsake me; be not far from me, O my God.

Come quickly to help me,O Lord my Savior.